What did I just watch?

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It’s not often anymore that my wife and I can get out to the theater to watch a movie. As any parents of a toddler know, time is often not your own. So, when we can get away, it’s nice to catch a great movie. Sadly, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom doesn’t fit the bill. Anyone who enjoyed the movie, please stop reading here so I don’t offend you.

If you’re still reading, I’ll assume, like me, you found this train wreck to be highly disappointing. I’ve enjoyed every other installment in this franchise, despite a few missteps along the way. But this entry… this entry threw everything out the window.

Do you remember the first time you watched Jurassic Park? The sense of awe and wonder you felt? How for a couple of hours it seemed as if dinosaurs were alive again? A lot of that owed to the great Michael Crichton and his mighty pen. The special FX were mind-blowing for sure, but the script more than held its own. Based on Crichton’s great novel, it showed us the science and reverence for dinosaurs that’s missing from the latest movie. Crichton, of course, had nothing to do with this script. In fact, it’s kind of sad he’s credited with this terrible movie in any way (based on his characters).

So what happened with this movie? I could spend all night going over what didn’t work, but, let’s sum it up with a few points. Where is the awe and splendor felt in previous movies? Even the first Jurassic World managed to capture that essence. Hell, where were the dinosaurs here? I know they were in there, but watching this movie I felt like I hardly saw any. What I did see was a ridiculous plot about saving the dinosaurs from extinction. After all, if the island blows up they’ll die. And, it’s not like, you know, they could be recreated again?? *Shakes head* Then there’s the reveal about three-quarters of the way through the movie about Maisie – that is dropped once out of the blue and then never pursued. I have to ask, why? This is just shoddy writing.

But, my main complaint with this movie, is how quickly it devolves into a horror movie. With its genetically modified monsters, any semblance of wonder is lost. It becomes nothing more than a Godzilla vs. Mothra knockoff. And it can’t even pull that off right. Its main attraction bounces between being a wrecking ball and a delicate creature who rather than plow through a door, takes the time to open it and creep up to a little girl to scare her. Which is it? Vicious killing machine or sadistic monster? Someone tell the writers to choose one. Or better yet, stop trying to make dinosaurs villains. What worked in Crichton’s books was the fact they were just creatures – not good or evil, just believable. This movie is very disappointing to what it could’ve been. We’ve seen what it could be, and this, isn’t it.

Two thumbs down 😦


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